I drop in on a child care providers discussion forum from time to time and make comments/suggestions if I feel I can be of help (or just want to join in on a rant!!). Recently, one of the providers had a terrible ongoing problem with a child who was wilfully destroying her property i.e. toys, day care equipment and furniture. The parents laugh it off, ask the child to say an empty ‘I’m sorry’ and offer no discussion nor action for remedy. As you can imagine this poor lady is at her wits end. To date the child has deliberately destroyed over $200 worth of items. All too often day care providers can be faced with very delicate situations when handling difficult behavior in a child.
Difficult and challenging behaviors can be a tough fact of day care life. The reasons for said behaviors can be various but all need to be dealt with from the outset in a firm and consistent manner. When it becomes clear that a child is being continuously disruptive, destructive and aggresive it is time to ‘meet the parents’. Dealing successfully with any challenging behavior necessitates parental cooperation.
Discussion will uncover if similar behavior occurs in the home, if there is a root cause that can help all parties better understand the triggers and reasons for the behavior. Most importantly though, the parent/provider meeting will ensure that a mutual behavior plan is on the table and everyone is on the same page. It is pointless if you are being consistent and constructive in your handling of the child if the same positive actions are not dealt out at home.
Use your behavior policy (you do have one right??) as an outline for formulating an individual plan. Ensure that you put in place a time frame for implementation and a deadline for reevaluation. It is helpful also to include in your parent handbook/contract details of situations where parents will be expected to cough up for ‘over the top’ damages caused by their child.
Insert also your ‘end of tether’ clause where you would be forced to ask a client to withdraw their child due to ongoing issues and lack of cooperation/communication. Don’t forget, sometimes professional, outside help is required….that does not indicate failure on the part of either the provider or parent. It is simply the best way forward in some cases.
Fiona Lohrenz has been running her own day care for
the past 10 years and is the founder of a childcare
website that offers articles and resources for
child care providers and parents. She has also produced
‘Start a ChildCare Business’ DVD at http://www.startchildcare.com
Fiona can be reached at her website here:
http://www.childcareonly.com
Tags: child behavior at day care, day care behavior, start a day care
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